Defining Irony
November 6, 2008&;______somewhere in between AWAKE&dreaming…;
I am continually saying to myself how ironic my life is, and right now? I just wish it would stop. I wish things didn’t always have to hit me all at once and entirely overwhelm me. I wish that I didn’t see meaning and signs in everything, and I wish I could just, sleep right now. Sleep, but not dream. Collapse in my head, my comforter… stop thinking, stop feeling, or at least feel a little bit less.
What the hell am I supposed to do right now? My research paper of three months is done… I sent a letter, and I got my answer. So it’s done. It’s over. That’s it. And I’ll be honest, it feels rather … good. I want to erase it all, somehow. I wasted three years of my life thinking of nothing else, letting him entirely rule my existence. It was so wrong, but it felt so right–and now I’m on the in-between. I’m on the upswing, or at least, I should be.
And yet I still notice the little things. My keyboard is messed up, but that doesn’t just happen without a reason, right? What I mean by this is my keys are being oversensitive–I don’t have to actually press the key for it to ink the letter. Or, one key is. And ohoh- guess what letter? It’s ‘D’ of course. I lay my hand on the keys, and immediately, four ‘D’s’ are written, before I’ve actually hit anything. How annoying. How aggravating. How…telling.
Keys become oversensitive like that on this ridiculous iBook G4 when you press it too often.
It’s ridiculous.
&//where should i start? (disjointed heart) i’ve got no commitment to my own flesh&blood.
left it all alone, far away from my {true} home..{cannot express} to the point i’ve regressed,
breaking a part of my heart to find release & taking you out of my blood to bring peace. //&LP
A…have you found the Tripisn yet?
–Mickey&others.
P.S. You should know, that originally read: A…have you foundd the Tripisnd yet?
…>.<
hellloooo, dolly!
i loved this post.
what do you do now? take a step or three back. observe your life as an outsider might. see how small and insignificant your problems really are. detach a little. you’ve deserved it.
breathe in. breathe out.
you have your answer, and you have an answer to give.
i suggest that this second should be ‘yes’. it’s fun! see blog. you’re young, mimi, and you don’t need to be so serious about this all yet.
tripsin. that’s damn good stuff.
i think it’s an example of irony that my L key did that last week for a little while. but it stopped. it’s nothing to worry about, michele.
you didn’t waste three years of life. you lived a different way for three years, but you weren’t entirely unhappy. you were mostly cheerful. it gave you a different outlook on things than most people have.
x o x o
k